Category: General

The Power and Perception of a Smile

A certain smile is the only thing that a person needs to change an interaction with another person. Sometimes a smile is the hardest thing to develop or to form when things aren’t going so well, but it really is one of the biggest skills that anyone can have. For example, watch people walking down the street. It doesn’t matter where you are, what area of the country, or what area of the city. What does matter is how are people doing? How are they looking? Are they looking? Are they smiling? Do they look you in the eye? The funny thing is that when someone looks at you with a smile on their face, what you will glean from their eyes is a positive, glowing look that gives you a sense of peace and appreciation for that person. Now, having said that, a smile cannot be insincere. You can’t just smile because you think that’s the thing to do, that it will make everything OK. In reality, it may make everything OK but it’s not the thing we’re used to.

We are used to judging people as we approach them. We are used to going through various filters to determine where that person is coming from, where they’ve been, what they’re thinking, or maybe how they’re going to respond to what we have to say. We have all these filters we go through and then we decide if we’re going to smile or not. Imagine if we had led with a smile.

Another area that many people struggle with is conflict resolution. No one likes to be in a conflict. People who say they do have an altered sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Conflict for conflict’s sake is like projecting an argument on someone. So we need to determine if we actually want to argue with someone. Is that the best way to communicate? Or do we need to step back, listen, smile at the person and try to understand where they’re coming from. If we do this, much of the conflict disappears. In customer service, when a customer has an objection or an argument about their service, what is the best way to resolve that? The first thing is, how is your body language when receiving that input? If you appear as if you’re prepared to go into an argument, it could be an unpleasant conversation. However, if you smile, ask how you can help them and ask what the situation is, then you simply be quiet and listen. You listen and then you listen more.

People like to get what is on their minds off their minds.  Being a willing, pleasant, positive listener resolves seventy-five percent of the conflict in a situation. You can apply this approach to many different conversations and situations. It is said that smiling requires many muscles to accomplish, many more than frowning, but like everything else we talk about in this blog, it’s all about your attitude. It takes very few conscious muscles to smile when that’s part of who you are; that you just break into a smile when you see someone, with the aim of making whatever that relationship is, a better one. The reality is, isn’t that what we really want to do? If I were to give anyone advice as to how to make an impression in someone’s life, it would be that with every person you come into contact with, whether it is verbally, with body language, whatever form, smile at them and listen. Smile and listen. I guarantee that those two components will create a relationship that is rewarding, informative, and will become more personal than any other relationship has ever been for you. Now when I’m talking about relationships, I’m not necessarily talking about personal relationships; I’m talking about any interaction with a person. People love to have interaction with others who will show them value and value is expressed by a willingness to listen and a willingness to inspire.

Sometimes you can include both those words, listen and inspire, into one phrase and make that part of who you are. What’s the most important thing to you? Is it to tell another person everything about yourself, all that you know, all you are worth, or is it to listen to that person? I guarantee that if you listen to someone else, you will become a better person, you will gain more knowledge, and you may experience something that you never would have expected. Expectations can be some of the most wonderful things that can happen and that’s what we need to look for. The bottom line is that it all started with a smile.

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To Dream….. To Do

How can our perceptions work magic for our reality?  We need to realize how dreams are developed and what part perception plays in them.  Additionally, when we get a firm grasp of our dream, do we proceed or let perceptions of fear or doubt extinguish those dreams.

Realities can be made up of dreams and sometimes this can be good.  On the other hand, negative realities can happen because of a lack of dreams.  When people are concerned that their circumstance will get no better, what they are left with is a “status quo” existence.

So, how does one get to turning the dream into reality?   Obviously, the first thing is to dream in the first place.  If the mind has nothing to work with, how can it ever form a perception of what “can be”.  Therefore, the trick is to dream and to dream big!

Many feel that his is all you have to do according to an interpretation of the Law of Attraction.  For a few, this might be the case, but for the rest of us, we have to “do”.  In other words, we have to continue the dream, develop the perception of its achievement and take consistent steps to make this all a reality.

As in goal setting, large goals are wonderful but it is in the completion of small steps that make the goal achievable.  I know that I have and will have very big goals.  I also know that the only way the goal will be achieved is accomplishing the steps to its attainment.  You may not be a goal setter but you have a destination in mind.  That destination is a dream ready to be realized.  Create a “To Do” list of the steps and check your progress!

If you need guidance or someone to drive fulfillment, visit My Dreams and Desires.  Share your journey and dream happily!

Thoughts Trigger Perception but Define Reality

We go through life with all sorts of external issues defining who people think we are.  Growing up, I was very introverted but rarely get defined that way today; then, in my twenties I “blossomed” into a “me first” type of person.  It is funny how getting married and having kids can change all that.

I look back now and can’t remember a time when I actually thought about how my thoughts were defining me.  I seemed to be reacting to everything and everyone around me.  Do you ever have to assume a role to make sure people view you the way you want?  Let me explain.  I always want people to see me as a confident, professional and knowledgeable speaker.  The problem is, my thoughts don’t always synch with my action.

What this means to me is that I “assume” I don’t have the confidence, professionalism or knowledge that I want to exude but I know that my actions are going to give the impression  that I do.  So, the question is, since my thoughts are creating an external perception, aren’t they also creating a new reality in me?

Think about your own situation.  Who are you and who are you perceived to be?  Your thoughts can take various roads in defining who you are going to be.  Are you really the life of the party or is that a role you play?   Understand that, if you create this perception, people may assume this is who you are.

All of this comes down to knowing who you are and/or who you want to be.  I prefer to think of myself as reserved, private, kind, understanding, a good listener, etc.  So, when I go into situations that may deviate from those qualities, I have to consciously think about I should stay the course or assume a “role.”

Just understand that your thoughts define you, accurately or not!

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Drop the Assumptions

To perceive a circumstance is to put one’s judgement on whether it exists or does not exist.  In all forms of human experience, this is what constantly defines our view of reality.  With this in mind, we can change our attitude, which in turn, changes our perception of the circumstance.

When we assume that our perception is real, then our reality becomes our attitude.  The risk here is that, one, we are assuming, and, two that it is our perception.  So, we are constantly living in a world of assumptions and perceptions.  Therefore, the question becomes, ‘when do we know it is real?

And, off we go into the realm of Realities and our attitudes based on the realitie