A certain smile is the only thing that a person needs to change an interaction with another person. Sometimes a smile is the hardest thing to develop or to form when things aren’t going so well, but it really is one of the biggest skills that anyone can have. For example, watch people walking down the street. It doesn’t matter where you are, what area of the country, or what area of the city. What does matter is how are people doing? How are they looking? Are they looking? Are they smiling? Do they look you in the eye? The funny thing is that when someone looks at you with a smile on their face, what you will glean from their eyes is a positive, glowing look that gives you a sense of peace and appreciation for that person. Now, having said that, a smile cannot be insincere. You can’t just smile because you think that’s the thing to do, that it will make everything OK. In reality, it may make everything OK but it’s not the thing we’re used to.
We are used to judging people as we approach them. We are used to going through various filters to determine where that person is coming from, where they’ve been, what they’re thinking, or maybe how they’re going to respond to what we have to say. We have all these filters we go through and then we decide if we’re going to smile or not. Imagine if we had led with a smile.
Another area that many people struggle with is conflict resolution. No one likes to be in a conflict. People who say they do have an altered sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Conflict for conflict’s sake is like projecting an argument on someone. So we need to determine if we actually want to argue with someone. Is that the best way to communicate? Or do we need to step back, listen, smile at the person and try to understand where they’re coming from. If we do this, much of the conflict disappears. In customer service, when a customer has an objection or an argument about their service, what is the best way to resolve that? The first thing is, how is your body language when receiving that input? If you appear as if you’re prepared to go into an argument, it could be an unpleasant conversation. However, if you smile, ask how you can help them and ask what the situation is, then you simply be quiet and listen. You listen and then you listen more.
People like to get what is on their minds off their minds. Being a willing, pleasant, positive listener resolves seventy-five percent of the conflict in a situation. You can apply this approach to many different conversations and situations. It is said that smiling requires many muscles to accomplish, many more than frowning, but like everything else we talk about in this blog, it’s all about your attitude. It takes very few conscious muscles to smile when that’s part of who you are; that you just break into a smile when you see someone, with the aim of making whatever that relationship is, a better one. The reality is, isn’t that what we really want to do? If I were to give anyone advice as to how to make an impression in someone’s life, it would be that with every person you come into contact with, whether it is verbally, with body language, whatever form, smile at them and listen. Smile and listen. I guarantee that those two components will create a relationship that is rewarding, informative, and will become more personal than any other relationship has ever been for you. Now when I’m talking about relationships, I’m not necessarily talking about personal relationships; I’m talking about any interaction with a person. People love to have interaction with others who will show them value and value is expressed by a willingness to listen and a willingness to inspire.
Sometimes you can include both those words, listen and inspire, into one phrase and make that part of who you are. What’s the most important thing to you? Is it to tell another person everything about yourself, all that you know, all you are worth, or is it to listen to that person? I guarantee that if you listen to someone else, you will become a better person, you will gain more knowledge, and you may experience something that you never would have expected. Expectations can be some of the most wonderful things that can happen and that’s what we need to look for. The bottom line is that it all started with a smile.
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