Month: December 2021

Imagine a Society

Imagine a society where typical laws were replaced by laws of “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry”. In the new society, a person would have to use these in all appropriate situations.  If you take the time during the day and truly pay attention to how often these words are used, it might shock you.  If you look at the person who does receive this kind of attention, you see a glow that reflects the attention they just received.

If you were at the grocery store and someone helped you get a box off the shelf, would you say, “thank you”? If you needed that box, would you ask someone to “please” help you? If someone slipped on some water you spilled, would you say, “I’m sorry”?

There are so many situations during a day that these words can be used. It makes you wonder why they aren’t. Is it because people just don’t care or has society dismissed any civility? None of the words are hard to say and the impact that they can have on people is amazing.

The building block to society is communication. Having a peaceful society means you not only treat yourself well, but that you treat your neighbor well. These words have an effect of calming any discussion or interaction.

When you look someone in the eyes and genuinely say “thank you”, people feel appreciated, and a bond is created through eye contact. When you do the same with “please”, you show faith in your fellow man which generates respect. Lastly, when you genuinely say “I’m sorry” to someone, scars are healed, and relationships mended. Sometimes “I’m sorry” is not used because a person may think they will be perceived as weak. In truth, it shows a strength of communication that is vital.

A couple other laws that need to be enacted are “active listening” and “smiling”. Again, these actions shape the face of communication. If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone has a complaint, these two qualities are crucial. You resolve a complaint by allowing the person to discuss/explain their objection. During the dialogue, you’re smiling with intent to understand. Sometimes people just want to be heard and a grateful listener reduces the tension. What happens when they are finished? You say, “I’m sorry” and “thank you”! What a concept!

We have laws now concerning murder, domestic abuse, robbery, etc. These laws and their punishments are in place to try and decrease or eliminate the occurrences. We need to enact laws that encourage civil behavior such as someone not saying please, not using thank you, or not telling someone you’re sorry.

Imagine putting someone in jail for these offenses. It might look like this: “Sir, you are sentenced to a week in this grocery store to learn and demonstrate the norms of our society which include “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry”. The unit around your wrist will record every time one of these is used. Please learn from this experience and thank you for your attention.”

This “incarceration” should be a learning experience that should have been developed since childhood.  Often, we are the product of our upbringing.  How your parents and/or peer group handled civility very often is the model you follow.  Be sure to be the model that genuinely enjoys interaction with others and delights in bringing a sincere smile to their face.

A civil society starts with civil communication. Imagine a society that is structured on respect and kindness.

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Why Am I Here?

This is a question we all ask at one time or another. The big mystery is why we are on this planet and what we were put here for. What was the grand plan from the creator?

When we look around, we can see that certain people have definite purposes and we always seem to be struggling with our purpose. Some people spend their whole life trying to discover their purpose while others understand it at a very young age. I don’t think it matters when you find your purpose. Sometimes the creator has put you here without you even knowing why, which is frustrating for the individual, but it is part of God’s plan.

Take for example someone who doesn’t understand their purpose yet is very positive and enthusiastic every day. As that person goes through their day, they are watched by others whether they know it or not. That modeling they’re doing of their positivity and enthusiasm is contagious and rubs off on others. That just may be the purpose of that person. Sometimes we think that our purpose must be huge, or it must be something that will change the world, which, when you think about it, what really changes the world? It could be one large thing but all too often it is small and could be just one thing.

What can change another person’s life? What activity or what action changes their life? Is it something large or something small? A small thing may be smiling at someone as you walk down the mall or down the street. It may be giving someone a dollar because that’s all they need and that’s all they want. But it’s something that can change both your lives because it’s not the act of giving a dollar, it’s the act of simply giving.

When you think about why you’re here, think about words such as caring, love, and gratitude. These are the words that resonate with people, but, as society keep exercising their material wants, use of these words seems to be forgotten. When a person’s life does not include these words or words such as “please”, “thank you”, or “I’m sorry”, they can be regarded as egotistical or self-serving. If a person makes these words and feelings part of who they are, people are more drawn to them, and respect becomes automatic. As a giver of the words, a person shows their true humanity. As a receiver, a sense of self-worth washes over the person and a bond is developed.

When you’re thinking about who you are and why you’re here, think about the people you interact with, pass, or see during the day. Are they paying attention only to themselves or are they interacting with others? Interacting means talking, looking in another’s eyes, smiling, caring, and loving. You can go almost anywhere and see such a lack of these qualities. They can be very disturbing because all these qualities are what breathes life into us and makes us who we are and encourages us to want to continue our journey in life no matter what it is. When you interact with these types of qualities you are turning people’s lives around. You are making them understand that someone does care about them, even if it’s only looking them in the eye with a smile on your face. That can be something that drives a person for the next minute, or next hour. Modeling these activities reflects the qualities that will confirm the reason of why you’re here.

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