Category: General

Cherish the Angels in Your Life

Please understand, your purpose is being conducted daily whether you understand it or not. Just by your actions, people see and respond to who you are and what you’re about. Now the key is to know yourself.

Life Challenges

We are born into this world with a purpose but not much direction. That will come with life experiences and education. We are not alone yet always striving to find a way to make it in a world that is confusing and contains multiple paths to find our way. In many ways, we do not realize the potential and impact we can make on others and the world. There are so many challenges that make the road to achievement much more difficult. These challenges sit squarely in front of us, sometimes apparent but many times come out of nowhere. The decisions we make in the face of these challenges will determine which path our lives will take.

The context of our life is always evolving, and we choose which way we will go depending upon those decisions. How we approach various challenges very often depends on to whom we listen. Those people may be very close to us or be distant. They may be people we have grown up with or people we pass on the sidewalk. The people who affect our lives can never be described accurately because every event that happens in our lives has an effect. It is the ability to be open to every event that is an indication of a possible message.

  • The little 5-year-old girl you passed in the grocery store. Did she remind you of your youth?
  • The 10-year-old boy smiled and said hello. Did he make you happy?
  • The middle-aged man sitting on the cold concrete. Did he show you how hard life can be?

Three examples of chance events. The meaning of each is something different for everyone. What would be your response to each?

Seeking Discovery or Chance

Are you looking for an Angel or just waiting for one to appear? If something you see or hear draws a reaction, then it is an Angel communicating with you. Taking a moment to relax and to understand the world around you are key.

Our circumstances in life very often will determine whether we are willing to accept help or to ignore certain levels of support. Much of this has to do with what we think of angels and what they represent in our life. If you are a spiritual person, everything your Angel represents can be determined from that perspective. That means whatever perspective you’re coming from, and from the religious aspect, can determine whether that Angel is good or bad. Many can remember movies or shows that depicted angels on our shoulders. One whispering in one ear, the other one whispering in the other ear.

How you determine which one you’re going to listen to often reflects the values of life you have. If you are inherently a good person and have a positive attitude, then the angel giving you the most positive advice will be the one you listen to. But if you are a negative person and vacillate between questionable decisions, your response may be more negative. You need to decide which one is going to be the one you listen to.

From the perspective of a regular person, typically that person will do whatever is rewarded for their personal gain. From a spiritual aspect, the person will do whatever is right from a win-win perspective. Whichever one you decide you are going to be it must be consistent.

The Angels Around Us

The angels in your life will take on many forms and shapes. They may be things or people that you recognize or situations that you just happen to have to deal with. Again, your perspective will come into play as to how you react to the help your Angel is trying to give you. I mentioned earlier that help from angels does not always take physical or verbal form. Many times, it is what we observe, but unfortunately for many of us, we don’t take the time to view what’s going on around us.

We need to be better observers of the situations around us. We need to understand who our guardian angels are and what their actions are indicating to us. We need to observe all kinds of acts and try to reflect on those in the situations we are placed in. It is only in observation, reflection, and follow through that we utilize the wonderful aspects of what our angels are trying to get across to us.

Therefore, your challenge is to recognize what every situation or action is trying to tell you. To be aware of the hidden meaning of actions around you. Listen carefully to what people are saying. Not only to you but to those around you. And understand also, your conversations have far-reaching implications because you are an Angel in somebody’s life. That conversation or comment you are making to them or to someone in the vicinity is going to have an impact on any given situation they’re currently in. My hope is that you will take time after reading this and jot down the different angels that are interacting with you at any given time. That you take time to quietly go for a walk and just observe everything going on around you. Do this in nature and do this at the mall. Different voices are calling to you in different ways and you may be amazed at what you discover.

Who your Guardian Angel is and what they do: 10 things you should know

This guide, courtesy of Attitude Reality, aims to equip you with effective strategies to navigate the discovery of “you”. Visit the Fergusson Group for more resources and direction.

Designed to Believe

The purpose of the Fergusson Group is to help people BELIEVE. That may seem like a very short and simple mission statement, but it is part of a very large plan to help all people with every aspect of their lives.

What does it mean to believe?  It means that we have utmost faith in whatever aspect of life we choose to have a belief in. There are basically two different types of belief. One of them is very simple. It is the belief that something is going to work based upon past performance. This function of belief is borne out by actual data which helps them to be consistently believed unless there is a change in the structure or system that created it. The second type of belief is one that occurs through faith. This means that there’s no data and faith is purely borne out through a commitment to the system or philosophy that has been presented. This can be extremely challenging; people can attack this from all sides. Let’s take a minute and look at these two types of belief.

Factual Belief

Factual belief is one that is borne out of history of success. For example, when you get in your car you know that it is going to start. You are confident that the car will start because it has done so 99 out of 100 times previously. You have the data, and you have the experience to know that this is the case. If, for some reason, the car does not start, this is an anomaly. It is something that will not shake our belief but rather can be chalked up to the fact that we missed something in the maintenance of our car. As I said initially, this form of belief is very easy, yet has a lot of continuity because of experience dealing with various situations. We call this a factual belief. This means that this belief system is backed up by countless examples of experience and trial and error. Whatever topic falls into this category, the system can be traced back to this solid history of experience. This means that if anyone were to challenge your belief, you could relate back to the experience and history of whatever that belief is and show by example why you believe this way.

Faith Belief

Faith belief is one that is constantly challenged. The reason this can be challenged so much is that there is little history or experience to back up why you believe this way. Many religions are formed around faith although there is some history or experience to the story of that religion. The continuing belief in faith is predicated on the unwavering belief that this system or religion has a basis in fact and is a contributor to overall success and happiness. Faith belief can take sides through many different examples and situations. Obviously, the faith in your religion and your belief is one of the most critical because they dictate how you view the world and how you react to the world. We also have different beliefs, for example faith in your mother and father. This faith is predicated on the experience you’ve had and the ongoing belief that whatever experience you had will continue throughout your life and therefore we can say that we love our mother and father because our faith is built upon a solid ground.

How your life is and how it’s going to be is most definitely reflected by whatever your belief system is. It is often thought that many scientists or intellectuals will only have a belief in something that can be proven, that they can see, feel it, touch it, or approve its existence through data. You must decide what your belief system is going to be. Your belief system will determine the direction of your thoughts, the direction of your life and how you will treat all those around you in the world. To live a life believing in something gives that life purpose. And if you have a purpose, you have a reason to get up in the morning. You have a reason to have an impact on whatever the day brings. So, it is important to understand that you need to realize what your belief system is and take the time to understand why you believe the way you do. For example, if you believe that people are inherently right or wrong you may have a very difficult time convincing someone, not only yourself, but other people, the true aspect of where somebody is coming from. A belief system that believes in the good of every person means that there is hope and that there needs to be some sort of consideration of why the good is not there and how to bring it back.

Self-Assessment

Now take a minute and ponder your belief systems in the following areas:

  • Your faith in a supreme being and the strength of that faith.
  • Your political opinion and the reasoning for it.
  • What do you believe about your work life or your retirement life.
  • Your family and how you are connected or not.
  • Your worldview and your position in it.
  • Your overall belief in yourself.

What did you find out about yourself? Is your belief system everything you thought it would be? What are some areas that you want to go back to and develop further?

Goal and Result

Hopefully, this will help you understand who you are and prepare you for achieving more toward your purpose and understanding where you might want to go. Please understand, your purpose is being conducted daily whether you understand it or not. Just by your actions, people see and respond to who you are and what you’re about. Now the key is to know yourself.

Belief — Be·lief 

  1. an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists: “his belief in the value of hard work”
  2. trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something: “a belief in democratic politics”

This guide, courtesy of Attitude Reality, aims to equip you with effective strategies to navigate the discovery of “you”. Visit the Fergusson Group for more resources and direction.

Navigate Life’s New Chapters with These Strategies for Handling Major Transitions

Embarking on a significant change is a natural part of our life’s journey. These moments, ranging from career transitions to personal life shifts, bring a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. This guide, courtesy of Attitude Reality, aims to equip you with effective strategies to navigate these important periods. By focusing on resilience and adaptability, you can transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and fulfillment.

Cultivating Calm Amidst Change

When life presents significant shifts, it’s common to experience heightened stress. Developing techniques to maintain inner calm is crucial. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, or engaging in mindfulness exercises serve as anchors, helping you to manage emotions and maintain clarity. These techniques not only reduce stress but also enhance your overall well-being, enabling you to approach changes with a balanced perspective.

Embracing Positivity in Transition

Keeping a positive outlook is essential during times of change. While it’s important to acknowledge the challenges, shifting your focus to the potential for growth and opportunity fosters resilience. A positive mindset acts as a catalyst for adapting to new situations, encouraging a proactive approach to the changes you encounter.

Nurturing Mental Health through Therapeutic Activities

Engaging in gardening, a therapeutic hobby found on resources like https://homegardenhero.com/, can greatly enhance mental health, especially during life’s transitions. This activity uniquely combines physical exertion, a deep connection with nature, and the gratifying experience of nurturing growth. The practice of gardening not only alleviates stress but also instills a sense of achievement and serenity. Such benefits contribute positively to one’s overall mental and emotional health, making gardening an ideal pursuit during times of change.

Setting and Achieving Realistic Goals

Goal setting is a powerful tool in navigating life’s changes. By establishing realistic and achievable objectives, you create a roadmap for your transition. Breaking down goals into smaller, manageable tasks provides a clear path forward, helping you to maintain focus and momentum during periods of uncertainty.

Exploring New Professional Avenues

Major life transitions offer a chance to explore new paths; for instance, you might advance your career as a systems analyst. Opting for further education, like an online master’s degree in IT, can be a strategic step towards this goal. Such educational pursuits not only enhance your skills but also broaden your professional scope. Ultimately, these steps pave the way for a rewarding and diverse career in systems analysis, allowing you to achieve new professional heights.

Maintaining Flexibility and Openness

Adaptability is a key trait in managing life changes effectively. Staying open to new experiences and ideas allows you to navigate transitions with ease. Embracing this flexibility can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal growth, enriching your life journey in ways you might not have anticipated.

Leveraging Support Networks

Seeking support during major life transitions is vital. Turning to friends, family, or professional counselors for guidance and emotional support can provide a different perspective and much-needed encouragement. Sharing your experiences and listening to others’ insights fosters a sense of community and understanding, making the journey through change less daunting.

Streamlining Work-Related Transitions

For career-related changes, organizing and digitizing work-related documents can greatly facilitate the transition. This step not only streamlines the process but also ensures that important information, such as your portfolio or resume, remains accessible and secure. Efficiently managing these practical aspects allows you to focus more on the strategic elements of your career transition.

Life’s major changes, while challenging, offer unique opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By embracing strategies such as cultivating calm, maintaining positivity, nurturing mental health, setting goals, exploring new career paths, staying open-minded, seeking support, and efficiently managing work transitions, you equip yourself to thrive through these changes. Remember, successfully navigating life’s transitions opens doors to new experiences and personal development, marking the start of exciting new chapters in your journey.

Attitude Reality offers a variety of resources to help individuals manage different aspects of their lives. Have a question for the team? Reach out today!

Strategies for Turning Your Midlife Crisis into Your Next Adventure

A midlife crisis can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, filled with self-doubt, regret, and a sense of stagnation. It’s a time when many people start to question their decisions and the direction their life has taken. However, it’s important to remember that this phase, while challenging, is also an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and transformation. Instead of seeing it as a period of decline, it can be viewed as a chance to reassess your priorities, make necessary changes, and embark on new adventures.

Presented to you below by Attitude Reality, here are some strategies that can help you navigate through a midlife crisis and turn it into a fresh start.

Keep Your Habits Healthy

NutritionToFit.com notes that adopting healthier lifestyle habits can significantly enhance your physical and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can boost your mood, increase energy levels, and reduce stress. These positive changes can provide the clarity and vitality needed to tackle the emotional challenges of a midlife crisis.

Determine the Source of Your Unhappiness

It’s crucial to identify the root causes of your unhappiness. This introspection might involve evaluating your relationships, career, and personal goals. Understanding what’s making you unhappy is the first step towards making meaningful changes in your life.

Try Your Hand at Gardening

Being in nature has been proven to be great for people’s emotional well-being, so see if you can cultivate more optimism while also cultivating plant life by trying out gardening. The best part is that you can take advantage of these benefits with an outdoor or an indoor garden, so you don’t need a lot of space.

Launch a Career with a Strategy and a Logo

If your current career is a source of dissatisfaction, consider the liberating prospect of starting your own business. Being your own boss can offer a sense of control and fulfillment. Remember, a successful business starts with a great idea, but it also helps to use a simple logo in your branding strategy. Such a logo can attract potential customers and set your business apart, serving as a beacon that distinguishes your brand in a bustling marketplace.

If you need to reboot your skill set, consider going back to school. For example, in terms of contributing to the field of education, obtaining an education degree equips individuals with a strong foundation in educational theory, teaching methodologies, and classroom management, fostering effective teaching skills and strategies. Fortunately, online degree programs make it easy to earn a degree while still working full-time or tending to family obligations. When looking for an online school, ensure it’s accredited and that it offers competitive tuition rates.

Refresh and Update Your Wardrobe

Updating your wardrobe can be a fun and therapeutic way to navigate a midlife crisis. New clothes can not only refresh your look but also boost your confidence. Experiment with different styles and colors. Fashion is a form of self-expression, and a fashionable update might just be the change you need.

Be More Adventurous

The Guest House points out that stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something adventurous can be invigorating. It could be traveling to a new country, learning a new sport, or even trying a new cuisine. These experiences can infuse excitement into your life and help you discover new interests and passions.

Try a New Space for a New Start

Where we live carries memories, both positive and negative. If your current home is clouding you with negative memories and thoughts, consider moving. If you’d rather not buy, there’s always the rental option. There are plenty of great places to rent where you can start fresh. When scouting homes, look for homes in neighborhoods with the amenities you need. View online listings to find properties in your price range with your desired number of bathrooms and bedrooms to locate the perfect place.

Embrace Laughter Whenever Possible

Laughter truly is the best medicine. It can reduce stress, improve mood, and even strengthen social bonds. Spend time with friends who make you laugh, watch a comedy show, or read a funny book. Finding ways to incorporate humor into your daily life can make the journey through midlife more enjoyable.

Read Books about Mid-life Crisis Management

Books about mid-life crisis management can offer valuable insights and practical advice. They can provide different perspectives on dealing with a midlife crisis and inspire strategies for personal growth. Some recommended reads include “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life” by Gail Sheehy and “Navigating Midlife” by Robb N. Johnston.

Turn Your Crisis into an Opportunity

A midlife crisis, while challenging, can also be a period of profound personal growth and reinvention. By adopting healthier habits, understanding your unhappiness, pursuing new ventures, moving and finding a new home, and finding joy in everyday life, you can turn this crisis into an opportunity for a fresh start. So remember, this phase is not just about enduring but evolving, not just surviving but thriving. With the right perspective and strategies, your midlife years can truly become a time of renewed energy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Change The Mindset

Changing a mindset. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is something that we choose to do. And that’s the key. The key is we must choose to want to do something. I call it the “want to”. So often we talk to ourselves, and we say “well, I would like to do this, or I would like to do that”.  But true change comes in the form of a “want to”.

So, change can only happen with a change of mindset and how does a mindset happen? The mindset is something that is developed over time. That time can be short, or it can be long. In many cases, it is called a habit and developing habits can be very difficult.

At the beginning of each year, establish what we call resolutions. In other words, you say, “I am going to make a resolution to lose 30 pounds. But resolutions as we all know typically only lasts about three months at best so really the challenge is to make that resolution a lifelong habit.  If you do this then your mindset changes then the mindset changes your life. So really the challenge is to figure out how to develop triggers to get that mindset to change. Triggers don’t have to be hard. They are really connections to habits you already have. For example, if you brush your teeth every morning, that’s a habit. How about you attach it trigger to that so every time you brush your teeth you do something immediately afterwards?

Well, life is a combination triggers and habits. Developing and creating these are important to the development of how we want to live our lives. Sometimes we have created habits that damage our body and soul and sometimes getting rid of these damaged habits can be very difficult to do. But that’s what must be done and so really, it’s a matter of flipping the switch and creating a new mindset that counters the habit that has been created.

What is a bad habit? Drinking too much can be a habit that we have. Certainly, many times we drink because we just enjoy it. We also drink because we’re in a social situation and everybody else is partaking and/or we have peer pressure. But whatever the reason, if you have the “want to” to reduce or stop drinking then you must create triggers and habits that supports this action. In other words, one of the actions that need is to stay out of situations where this occurs. The second thing is having a plan so when the feeling for a drink comes up, we have a trigger that discourages that action. Again, remember the mindset is what it’s going to determine the course of this habit development or not. Remember, we are trying to eliminate a habit that has already been developed. So, before the next time you are thinking about having a drink, have a trigger to utilize. The trigger might be every time you reach for or begin to order that alcoholic beverage, make it water or make it anything other than an alcoholic beverage and the trigger is the reaching for or the process of ordering. If you become resolute about this action, every time you think about it, you are on the way to solidifying a new habit.

The key is being resolute, and the second key is having the “want to”. You won’t be scared or feeble about the attempt if you are resolute! This means you are firm in your conviction. If you are firm your conviction, you are going to do this and whatever your bad habit is, you will have the trigger that will change the bad habit to a good habit.  Just figure out a trigger much like we did earlier. This new trigger will become the answer to your “want to” and the start of the development of your new good positive habits. Let me know in the comments how this goes for you because the bottom line is we don’t want three-month resolutions we want a whole new life habit.  

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Resource:  Resource:  Breaking-the-Habit

Imagine a Society

Imagine a society where typical laws were replaced by laws of “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry”. In the new society, a person would have to use these in all appropriate situations.  If you take the time during the day and truly pay attention to how often these words are used, it might shock you.  If you look at the person who does receive this kind of attention, you see a glow that reflects the attention they just received.

If you were at the grocery store and someone helped you get a box off the shelf, would you say, “thank you”? If you needed that box, would you ask someone to “please” help you? If someone slipped on some water you spilled, would you say, “I’m sorry”?

There are so many situations during a day that these words can be used. It makes you wonder why they aren’t. Is it because people just don’t care or has society dismissed any civility? None of the words are hard to say and the impact that they can have on people is amazing.

The building block to society is communication. Having a peaceful society means you not only treat yourself well, but that you treat your neighbor well. These words have an effect of calming any discussion or interaction.

When you look someone in the eyes and genuinely say “thank you”, people feel appreciated, and a bond is created through eye contact. When you do the same with “please”, you show faith in your fellow man which generates respect. Lastly, when you genuinely say “I’m sorry” to someone, scars are healed, and relationships mended. Sometimes “I’m sorry” is not used because a person may think they will be perceived as weak. In truth, it shows a strength of communication that is vital.

A couple other laws that need to be enacted are “active listening” and “smiling”. Again, these actions shape the face of communication. If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone has a complaint, these two qualities are crucial. You resolve a complaint by allowing the person to discuss/explain their objection. During the dialogue, you’re smiling with intent to understand. Sometimes people just want to be heard and a grateful listener reduces the tension. What happens when they are finished? You say, “I’m sorry” and “thank you”! What a concept!

We have laws now concerning murder, domestic abuse, robbery, etc. These laws and their punishments are in place to try and decrease or eliminate the occurrences. We need to enact laws that encourage civil behavior such as someone not saying please, not using thank you, or not telling someone you’re sorry.

Imagine putting someone in jail for these offenses. It might look like this: “Sir, you are sentenced to a week in this grocery store to learn and demonstrate the norms of our society which include “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry”. The unit around your wrist will record every time one of these is used. Please learn from this experience and thank you for your attention.”

This “incarceration” should be a learning experience that should have been developed since childhood.  Often, we are the product of our upbringing.  How your parents and/or peer group handled civility very often is the model you follow.  Be sure to be the model that genuinely enjoys interaction with others and delights in bringing a sincere smile to their face.

A civil society starts with civil communication. Imagine a society that is structured on respect and kindness.

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Imagine a World….

I am so excited to discuss a new series I will be doing that will address many of the thoughts people have about issues that seem to trigger emotions in us or make us stop and ponder the reality of things.

It is an interesting time both nationally and internationally and how we get through this really depends upon us. We all have beliefs and attitudes that dictate who we are. How we share those beliefs and attitudes can also determine how we are perceived by others.

The values we hold dear personally are the ones that usually come through in good times and bad. Sometimes when our values are fragile, we move outside of ourselves and become someone we do not recognize. It is times like this that we need to hold strong to what we believe and, if we are not sure what we believe, we work to learn and better understand what we want and need. We also need to learn to discern what others want and need and how we can help them in that journey.

The title of this new series is “Imagine A World.” You can see that the keyword here, Imagine, means we are using our value system, our beliefs, and attitudes to weave into our imagination. That imagination in the world would make certain strengths universal and be good for all mankind.

Have you ever thought about a world without hate? How about a world where the main priority was looking out for your neighbor? In this politically charged environment, what would happen if people found common ground, if people listened to understand rather than talk to accuse or challenge? Is the world a place where loving someone is considered weak? Is it a place where being concerned for someone is a weakness?

This is a portion of the topics or questions that the new series will address. This series will be posted on YouTube and I will be anxious to see the comments that are generated from ideas that some may consider controversial and others perhaps just nod in agreement. I fully expect to get both sides and to read and listen to the rationale of each.

This series idea was generated from various events in conversations that have been ongoing. Being a Life Coach and a Christian, I walk an interesting line with people who may have different views and values than I do. One of the missing links is that we have not taken the time to reflect on the opinions of others or to take a step back and to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. So often we take our opinion and one way or another impose it on others without knowing their circumstances, needs, or desires.

My hope is that this series triggers some thought individually and between other people and that the conversation generated from it becomes a powerful tool for positive action.

The series will be located on YouTube at:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOTYakAJR0aMRmoIE9Bygyg?view_as=subscriber

There will be a new segment every week. Please take time to comment and add your thoughts. This forum can be a valuable tool in strengthening personal experiences, relationships, and the building of a caring society.

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Reality in Life

We all struggle with the idea of who we are, where we’re going and why we are here. It is important to understand that the reality of our life is what we make it.  Is it what will happen to us or is it the realization that we can determine where we’re going to go?  Of course, detours may happen along the way, but it is the self-determination that we focus on that guides us to our ultimate purpose.

We can talk about our system of belief, our philosophy of the purpose of life, our origins, our experiences, our upbringing or any of the other factors that may have determined who we are and where we’re going. These are all valid but, in the end, it is our environment today that determines our current reality infused with our attitude, positive or negative, that establishes who we are today and sets the stage for who we will be tomorrow.

If you look at yourself, are you someone who is progressing toward a destination that is satisfying?  Or, do you see yourself not making any progress in your life or slipping backwards? What is it about your reality that needs to change? What is it about your attitude that needs to change?  If you believe in self-determination, you need to figure out what the next step is going to be. If you don’t, you will wait and react to the next thing that happens to you. Is that really what you want to do, wait for something to happen to you?

No matter what your belief system is today, it can be different tomorrow. If you say, “I am so down in the ditch, there is no way my life can be different tomorrow,” you are not understanding how elevating your life can be when measured in the smallest of factors. What is important is the smallest bit of progress, measured by you, not the immediate complete change.  The transition can be instant or barely noticeable.  It is only you who fixates on the outcome.

What is important is change you are creating in your mind; you need to believe that the change is worthwhile and fixate on that notion. To transcend, you need to change your mind.  You need to change your mindset and change your attitude.  No one can do this for you.  Stepping up to face a life change means flipping the switch.  I say this from experience – smoking. For seventeen years I didn’t know what it took to stop. I tried hundreds of times.  Finally it got to the point where I had to flip the switch in my mind! Emphatically determine that I was going to quit smoking. I was not going to fall for the gratification that smoking gave me.  I was going to enjoy other gratifications that came along with not smoking.  All this was a mental process – not a time absorbing process, just an acceptance in the absolute belief that I no longer had to do this activity. It was just a decision that was made that finally clicked in my mind. The decision clicked and my mind’s switch was flipped, and I no longer had the urge to smoke.

All this may seem very easy, but it’s not.  I understand that. My point here is that your reality in life is what you make it. You need to get rid of the negative perceptions of your past and decide on the realities of your future. Let me say that one more time – get rid of the perceptions of your past and dwell on the realities of your future.

Please understand I’m here to help you.  I have an incredible will to help others flip the switch. Email me or call me anytime to help you get to where you want to be.

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Learning to Speak

It is hard to speak to people when you have grown up introverted and the thought of carrying on a conversation is not pleasant. It is important to keep to oneself so this doesn’t happen. Besides, there is nothing wrong with being in my own company. These thoughts are what used to go through my mind as a youngster and still do, at times.

My family was very supportive and open throughout my younger years. The home was a secure and happy place. I don’t know what caused me to be introverted. My brother and sister didn’t seem to have the same affliction.  Sports was my activity of choice if I had to be out among people.

As I grew into my mid- to late teens, being introverted became more and more an issue. I’m not sure when but when I came to the realization that I had to come out of this in order to be “normal” and successful. This process was vital and I had to take steps to improve the situation.

The first thing I did was realize I had to change my perception of conversations up to this point, thoughts such as I don’t have anything to say, what I might say is not important, what if the person thinks it is stupid, I don’t want to do this. My self-talk around these thoughts had to change.

I had to learn that a conversation is between two or more people.  The other person consciously or unconsciously is having the same thoughts as I am. Their behaviors, like mine, will be dictated by the responses they receive.  For example, if I said the sky was blue and the other person thought it was red, doubt creeps in for them.  Understanding that the other person was going through the same emotions boosted my self-confidence.

The next thing was to realize that the interaction is just a conversation.  It is not an earth-shattering event or a world changing moment.  I did not need to make so much of it and just express myself and move on.

Next, I decided to prepare for conversations by being someone else.  This may seem a bit weird, but it worked. As I began or entered a conversation, I became someone whom I knew loved to talk, I kept this persona into the introduction and start of the conversation then reverted to myself.  I wonder if the other person ever noticed the change of energy.

Another change was to learn to enjoy the conversation.  Instead of dreading it, I was determined to try to learn something from each one.  This caused me to listen better and to look forward to speaking to someone.

From a career perspective I knew I had to be able to speak. I never took any communication classes or public speaking in school but knew I had to change my behavior. I decided early in business to become an entry level trainer.  This forced me to speak to people one-on-one and in groups. The key was that I knew the subject matter and they didn’t! This one concept served me well in my public speaking career.

In summary, all the points mentioned allowed me to break free of being an introvert.  It is still buried deep down but has had its time.  Learning to speak is all about self-confidence and knowing the environment around each conversation or presentation.  That environment can be controlled by you to enable yourself to be confident and enjoy the moment.  I can now totally choose which conversations to participate in rather than avoid all of them at any cost.  Go forth and speak boldly!! 😊

Please subscribe to learn more in the column to the right! We look forward to your comments on our blogs.

What’s New with Attitude Reality and the Fergusson Group?

As we approach the end of 2019, it is time to let everyone know what is going on with our unique company.  It has been a great year full of new experiences and wonderful challenges.  We are now nestled in the beautiful southwest, Mesa, AZ. 

  • We are in the process of developing an informative five eBook series called Creative Purpose.  This series will concentrate on helping people to discover the terrific opportunities available when determining their place in the world and their own purpose.  With so much chaos and confusion around us, knowing who you are has never been so important.
  • Our Life Coaching aspect continues to gain traction and we are so excited about the direction in which this is headed.  The focus is helping people “find their way”.  In an ever-chaotic world, more people, from young to old, are struggling to find their purpose and a direction for their life.  One statistic that stands out is that searches for Life Purpose has doubled over the last five years!
  • In the works, due out in mid-2020, is our book, “When Angels Collide.”  This book will be a unique take on the mystery of the end times with a surprise ending. 
  • The Attitude Reality blog will continue to produce helpful articles for you to help in your journey toward purpose and life in general.  We will be expanding by referring to other similar blogs to help you get all the resources you might need.  Please sign up for the newsletter in the top of the column to the right.
  • FergMart.com is our other shop that has more items plus a unique selection of eBooks. 
  • The Fergusson Group is continuing to offer training and classes for individuals and organizations.  We pride ourselves on the unique presentation style that gets everyone involved.  The key is to view the topic from a unique standpoint.  Visit Fergussongroup.org to see more.

We are excited about all the activities going on and would love to hear from you with suggestions, comments, guest articles or references to other sites.  Also, and most importantly, if you know someone who might need assistance, please refer them to our services.  Payment is never an issue when someone is in need.

Our contact information is:         

6329 East Des Moines Street, Mesa, AZ 85205

(425) 377-3303 or (425) 358-6163

Ask for Craig